Farewell

It is not that I feel mere sadness,

but more, a subtle sinking sense

of energy and of hope.

Maybe because I was

unprepared to say farewell,

maybe because the day was grey

and tonight’s gentle sunset

escaped my weary notice.

I don’t know what this silence

is doing for my sanity, save for

creating circles of uncertainty.

This is where questions of why

drive gaping holes

through my ever-searching mind,

and press in from all sides

with such comfortless force.

When all I wish is to be warm,

an icy breeze plays daydreams

across my anxious heart,

reminding me to let things go.

I loathe the sight of a departing back,

fading into distance, pacing the pain.

Retreating footsteps taste harshly bitter

like juice in a cup left from yesterday.

A slender moment weighs next to nothing

in comparison to the memories it stirs up

and slowly simmers on high to attain

an opaque sludge of eternal melancholy.

I thought that this kind of thinking

would bring me down all night.

But now I realize that it’s all right

to feel a twinge of disappointment

when it’s time to say good-bye.

Jennifer Burnside